CW: Dysphoria, Violence, panic attacks, religious trauma.

Also on: "https://www.royalroad.com/profile/328234/fictions"

Chapter 2

6 Months Later.

I was desperately trying to maintain focus straight ahead next to Luc, in the back of this much larger and grander church than anything we had back home, when she nudged and gestured at the back for me to see something.

I glanced over to find Tia karina in the back with the biggest smile I’d ever seen on anyone. I couldn’t believe she’d actually made it, but my heart soared to see her again. I missed home far more than I’d let on, and she felt like home more than anything.

Luc and I were last after all the boys, and the one other girl who had not dropped out. I didn’t understand why anyone would drop so close, when completing this training and getting to serve to the city was such an honour.

Luc went first accepting her badge when it was our turn. Then it was all me, and I had no idea what to do.

Afterward, Luc took the three of us to her favourite spot to be alone, while a black cat lounged on top of the security wall.

“You know your dad wanted nothing more than to be here girls, " I thought about correcting the slip up, but it didn’t actually bother me that much. It seemed like I didn’t even have to though, since I saw Luc getting her attention.

“But he had to take care of the family.” Just like every night when I was separated from Luc and left alone in a tiny barrack with only my thoughts I felt regret and worry for Dad being alone surge through me.

Once she was done speaking, Luc quickly looked around before saying, “You shouldn’t be here, you know it’s not safe.”

“I know, but I had to see you two one last time.” she insisted.

I didn’t understand what Luc meant by unsafe, before I remembered Tia used to be an Ordinator before she was forced to leave.

It hit me that she came all the way here despite all that just for us, and my heart swelled. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug her, but knew I had to be strong. I had Grandfather’s legacy to live up to after all.

When it was time to escort her back to the port, my worries didn’t end mattering as she wrapped both of us up tightly. Before she left, she gave us a small wooden box and told us to open it back in our rooms. Then she boarded a boat exactly like the one we’d ridden in on. Every time Luc tried to take us back to the Academy, I asked for another minute, until I couldn’t see a single trace of her ship left on the horizon.

Back at the Academy, we holed up in Luc’s new dorm room she shared with the other girl left, Diana.

Neither of us were quite sure if we actually wanted to open the box, so we did it together with our eyes closed. When we opened them together, we found it was filled with Mom’s things.

Her jewellery. The Sea shells she and dad collected off the beach.

And a note that Luc looked at and then passed to me, asking me to read it aloud. I wasn’t sure how well I’d do, but I had to try for her.

“Isabella, Please, for your own sake, forget about what your father thinks.He only sees the worst in you, and you deserve to be treated with all the grace and love in the depths of the sea.

I know this is a lot to think about, but I will help you through, and I swear to never leave you, for any reason. forever yours, Guillermo.”

I set the note down and hugged Luc instantly, forgetting about all my previous hang ups.

She cried into my shoulder, and for the first time in my life, I felt like the older sibling, despite us being twins, and her always taking care of me.

Once we separated, she asked if I was okay, and I tried my best to appear so, but I don’t think it worked since moments later she was holding my shaking body.

In that moment, I was back to being 8 years old, watching the mourning boat burn away in the distance, holding Luc’s hand as tight as my small fingers could. I rubbed a hand across my eyes, trying and failing to will away the tears as Mom floated away, the boat burning up bit by bit, taking her along with it. Her health had been declining for a long time, with Dad rushing between taking care of her until the end, and taking care of us. We ended up spending many days with his parents and siblings, with him also trying to have us spend as much time as possible with Mom.

I’d have wanted to keep the box in my dorm room, but I didn’t trust Declan and the other boys I was stuck with not to mess with it, so Luc kept it, promising I could come look at the stuff whenever I wanted.

I was still strung up about what Dad said about Grandfather. Reckoning Dad’s low opinion of him with all the amazing things he’d done stirred a pain in my heart, trying to keep my love for both of them alive.

With the ceremony done, it was time for us to get our probation assignments, and I was praying to shadow someone who worked in District 1, since it was the best path forward. I’d been bouncing in my seat for at least 10 minutes when Emily pulled me up and out into the hall.

“You need to stop worrying and get out of this room, for your own good, Marcos.” She said, " And I won’t hear any reasons why not, because your assignment will still be there when you get back.”

“Fine.” I relented.

She took us out to explore District 1. I was still awestruck at the architecture here despite living here for half a year now.

The buildings were brilliantly white, with large windows letting light bathe the interiors in the sun.

Emily directed us to the main train station, where we’d board a train to District 2 and watch the waves roll in and out. The sea had been calling to me through all the long days of training, but I’d had to keep focused, I’d never get the position I needed if I let myself get distracted.

Before we boarded the train, a poster on the wall caught my eye. Emily tried to pull me toward it, but the caption “THEIR BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS!” pulled me and refused to let me go.

I picked it up off the wall, and started reading through the text.

It showed pictures of honest to goodness children, who were all labelled dead or missing, all from Halakat. They were each separated in sections by cause, with some caused directly by violence from Ordinators, and others through neglect.

One girl in particular caught my attention, Talia Levi, I stored the name deep in my heart, not to be forgotten, and thought a quick prayer for her soul.

She seemed so small and frail in the picture, couldn’t have been more than 7, with large, round eyes so dark, they almost seemed black, and soft dark curls.

There were so many children on this paper, all so young with whole futures ahead of them.

I didn’t want to see what happened to Talia, but I forced myself to, only to find out she and her father were killed by a monster, left to die by Ordinators in District 6.

My chest ached completely and deeply as Emily ripped the poster from my hand and tore it up.

“It’s just false propaganda, ignore it, those people have nothing better to do than cause trouble.” She reassured me.

Relief flooded through me, knowing those kids weren’t actually hurt.

After boarding the next train, we were quickly at the port. The sound of the rolling waves soothed me to my core, to an extent I hadn’t expected. The sound eased my frayed nerves.

When we started to head back, Emily pointed out a senior ordinator pushing someone to the ground. “See, Occultists can ever appear in nice districts like this, that’s why we’re needed.”

A shudder ran through me at the thought of what one person could do by abusing the dangers of magic.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the incident at the port on the train back, imagining how many could have been hurt if that Ordinator hadn’t stepped in.

We stepped back into the room I’d been waiting in eagerly that morning, hoping desperately for a good assignment.

Emily had assured me that District 1 wasn’t the only good assignment.

I gathered from her explanation that District 1 was the best, and that’s why it had the Church and the Academy. 2 had the port, and was where the wealthiest citizens lived for the ocean view. 3 wasn’t bad, because that’s where all the tech gets built. 4 was where it dropped steeply, as that was where all the poor workers lived and commuted from. 5 was where all the food got distributed, and she didn’t even want to talk about 6.

We checked the board and found out I was put with Captain Ezekiel. I didn’t recognise that name, so I asked her, and she had me sit down first.